If Only She Knew
by Baruma
Summary: How does a girl whose only thoughts centered around schoolwork end up with so many boy problems? Very AU, no Voldemort, Hermione is not friends with Harry and Ron, very little canon followed. Pairings change alot.
1. Chapter 1

**If Only She Knew**

Disclaimer: I have strawberry-blonde hair…

I know, I know, I'm horrid. But in my defense, all of you that write know how it gets. This one I know won't be too terribly difficult to keep continuing, mostly because it's based on a true story.

Okay, so this is an AU HHR fic. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are still in Gryffindor, and everyone else is still in their normal houses, though Hermione is in a lower grade with Ginny. There isn't going to be such bad vibes between the houses, and though the Harry-Draco thing is still true, it isn't as bad as in the books, mostly because Voldemort doesn't exist! This is rated R for a reason that won't become clear for a little while.

We start with fourth-year Hermione and fifth-year everyone else.

* * *

**Chapter one**

Hermione felt rushed. Not just rushed, but exceedingly hassled. She wasn't just late; she was late on her first day of fourth-year. And her first class just happened to be double potions with Professor Snape. Just as she was turning the corner in the dungeons she ran smack into another body.

"Oomph… Oh I'm so sorry!" She had fallen over onto her bottom and was currently frantically trying to re-gather her books that had spilt all over the floor. Suddenly she noticed a hand on one of her books, a hand that was piling them up for her.

"Ah… thank you." She looked up at her helper, and realized that not only was he a Slytherin, but a fifth-year also. She cringed.

"I'm really, really sorry." He was pale, almost ghostly white, made whiter only because his hair and eyes were so dark. He was tall and thin, and she noticed that his hands were long and thin like a poet's. He was grimacing in a way that almost seemed like a smile.

"Don't worry; if I had been paying attention too this may not have happened. Not all Slytherins are bad. So you're in Gryffindor? What year?" His head cocked side-ways, watching her prepare her answer as she readied to stand with her stack of books.

"I… I'm a fourth-year Gryffindor. I'm on my way to potions, and I know Professor Snape is really going to hate me now." He chuckled at her.

"I though you were in fourth-year, ah…"

"Hermione."

"Yes, I though you were in fourth-year Hermione. Snape's class now is fifth-years, I know 'cause I'm late for his class too."

"Umm, well, I… I'm taking a few advanced classes, Potions, Charms, Herbology, and Arithmancy."

"Well Hermione, you certainly sound smart. Unfortunately, I'm barely passing Potions, and I've never even heard of Arithmancy."

"I really need to get to class, I'm _so_ late already." Hermione looked nervous, glancing around the hallway looking for any sign of Mrs. Norris. "And if we stay out here much longer Filch might show up." He nodded and the two hurried to Snape's dungeon.

Just as Hermione's hand hit the door knob, the boy spoke up.

"By the way, my name's Blaise."

"Ah, Mr. Zabini, Miss Granger what a pleasure. You're late! Sit down, and ten points off Gryffindor." Professor Snape twirled around and stalked off to his desk, expecting the students to take their seat and begin working. As she was turning away to the class, she saw Blaise wink at her then cross to the Slytherin side of the room.

She sat at a table with a Hufflepuff boy and introduced herself, sighing as she did so. Already this year was just not turning out as she had hoped.

* * *

After Potions, she had Herbology, then lunch, which she spent in the library, Charms, and lastly Transfiguration, taught, as always, by her favourite teacher, Professor McGonagall. She had earned back the ten points she had lost in Potions and then some.

She was, as always, excelling and still losing in potions, though she rather thought she had made a friend, odd though it was because not only was he older, but he was a Slytherin.

Blaise Zabini was, she thought, and odd character. After that first day she wasn't late again, but he was late almost everyday, along with about half the Slytherin class, but Snape never took points or did anything other than tell them, rather crossly, to 'Sit Down'.

Hermione was currently in the library studying for a quiz in Transfiguration that Professor McGonagall had strongly hinted at, which meant she told them to study for a quiz coming up soon, and everyone had ignored her. Everyone but Hermione, of course, which was why she was the only one currently studying for it.

She was deep in thought about animagus transformations when she heard a voice behind her speak up and startle her.

"Hey Hermione. You look, busy." It was Blaise. "So where are your friends?" She blushed, and looked back down at her books.

"Ah, well…"

"I see. Grades are most important right?" At a faint nod from her he chuckled.

"Well, seeing as we're friends and all, I figure you can help me with a spot of trouble in Potions. I didn't really understand the procedures for that last potion, and now we have a bloody paper to write on it. Won't you help me?" His eyes seemed to twinkle, and she noticed a slight flush on his pale cheeks.

"Sure. We can't have you getting a T on your OWLs, now can we?"

* * *

That night Hermione was lying in her bed, trying to sleep, but failing miserably. In fact, she was lying in her bed thinking of a certain friend she seemed to have made. He was very odd, and slightly attractive in that dark gothic way that she saw so often in her muggle neighborhood at home. He was a fairytale elf, long, thin, and pale, only with dark hair, normal ears, and a slightly malicious sense of humor.

Though she really couldn't blame him for that, because she had a rather malicious sense of humor herself, only nobody really ever found that out.

She sighed, and turned over in her four-poster to stare out the window at the twinkling stars. In fact, even though they obviously loved her, her parents didn't really know her very well either. All those jokes and witty comebacks she came up with when someone poked fun at her stayed in her head. She was the only one that knew, and the only one that cared.

She turned back onto her back and kicked her covers off. The room felt warm, and her white nightgown covered most of her flesh. One of the girls in her room giggled and shifted in her bed, probably dreaming about boys.

This brought her mind around to the fact that she, while not caring about boyfriends and make-up and all that, now had a boy for a best friend, best friend of course because she didn't have another friend to hold that place.

* * *

A.N.

Okay, I'm just gonna end the first chapter there, and hopefully everyone will tell me what you think. Oh, and just so it's said, most of the big canon things like Sirius Black, the Tri-Wizard Tournament, and other such things didn't happen. Voldemort doesn't exist, Harry Potter is not a England-wide known name, he's only popular 'cause he's hot, and rich.

This story is going to take some weird turns, Hermione is gonna go a little crazy, a few boys will make appearances that you don't really like, there will be a couple Hermione-boy pairings in the course of the story, ending with Harry Potter, but that won't show till much later on. Much later.

Well, please review, it makes me happy. And when you do so, make some guesses as to what pairings will show up in the story. Other than the one that I gave you, of course. I won't tell you if your right, but do I wonder who will guess them.

And I rather thought that the only way to find a beta was to ask. So here I am, pride on the line, is that what I'm supposed to do?

Okay… okay… I'm done.

Bru-chan


	2. Chapter 2

**If Only She Knew**

Disclaimer: I have blue eyes…

* * *

**Chapter Two**

It was almost Halloween, which meant the teachers were piling on the homework. It seemed as though they got special pleasure from overloading them with work right before a holiday.

In order to get all her work done before the feast the next night, Hermione was sitting in the library surrounded by books, though instead of doing her work as she should, she was staring off into space.

It's odd, she thought, that my first real friend here would end up being a guy. Over the past couple of months she and Blaise had gotten close, much to the consternation of the Slytherins and Gryffindors that saw them together.

Often she teased him that he was only friends with her because she made sure he didn't fail Snape's class, but he always deftly denied it, usually by getting down on his knees and begging her to forgive him for being so weak as to fall for her brains. She couldn't help but laugh and order him up off the floor, which would cause him to start laughing.

And what an odd, hidden laugh he has, she mused. He was quiet, not laughing loudly for all to hear, and his lips curled almost sneeringly as he smiled. His light freckles disappeared when he was amused, making his face as clear as a ghost's. Of course he didn't really laugh all that often. She was the only person she knew was able to make him, she never caught anyone else doing it.

"Ahhh… Merlin, it's just you!" She was breathing deeply and giggled a little, holding her hand over her heart to slow its speed. Blaise stood grinning behind her, reaching out a hand to stroke her hair.

"Poor 'Mione, are you scared of a ghost?"

"I just might be."

"Ha-ha, very funny." He looked sourly at her as she tried really hard not to giggle. "I'm not that white Hermione. But," and his voice took on a sour whine, "I really need help with Charms. I know your class was doing the accio spell also, and even though I should know it, it's a bloody annoying spell in my opinion."

"Then it's a good thing we don't let you teach Charms, otherwise we'd all fail from not learning the spells you don't like."

"Your bloody right about that." But because she beckoned to him with her hand, he shut up and sat down with her, hoping that with her teaching him he might be able to learn it correctly.

They sat for hours working on homework, and as he was finishing Charms, she had already done her Transfiguration, Charms, and was almost done with her History of Magic essay, more than two feet over the limit. Dazed, Blaise looked at his watch then tapped her on the shoulder.

"Ah, Hermione? It's almost dinner time, so why don't we pack up and go to dinner." Hermione nodded her acceptance, but looked at him with a hint of a frown on her face. Blaise frown also when he saw it, he knew exactly what it was about.

"Hermione…"

"No Blaise. I can handle it. If it bothers them so much, then they can just stay out of my life. I mean really, the fact that we're different genders bothers them more than the age difference or the fact that you're in Slytherin and I'm in Gryffindor. I just…" Her voice dropped in volume, and her eyes wandered down from his face to his chest as she stared blankly ahead.

"I don't care that you're a girl, or that you're younger, and if I really hated Gryffindors that much, would I be friends with you? Come here Hermione." His hands wrapped around her as she began to weep into his chest. He was just the right height to put his chin on her head and did so.

"I… I'm sorry Blaise. They don't bother you, and they shouldn't bother me. But I'm young and smart and I'm not very pretty. Those girls in the year above me, Lavender and Parvati, they're always picking on me, saying that I'm not pretty and I'm really not that smart, so I must be sucking up to the teachers to get my grades. They said that the fact that were dating and trying to pass it off as friends just proves it, cause how could I get someone older like you without doing something for you."

He sighed. "Hermione, I'm your best friend. Listen to me, not them. You're smart, we both know it. You're the one teaching me material from my grade, instead of struggling to understand stuff from your own grade. If all that stuff bothered me, you would know it."

"Yeah, but I'm not pretty, and you know it. That's why you didn't say anything about that." He watched her lip tremble as he looked down at her. No, she wasn't exactly pretty; her hair was a mousy brown and very bushy, her front teeth slightly bucktooth, and though her face was structured well, it was plain. She was very thin, almost no womanly curves other than her wide hips; she seemed almost so delicate she was breakable. But her lips were absolutely pink, and the freckles on her nose matched her hair. She may have been small, but at least she didn't lord over him.

"Hermione…"

"No, I'm okay. Let's go to dinner. Maybe we can meet up afterwards and go for a walk." She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a quick hug, flashing a small white smile up his way. He watched as she gathered her books together and fanned at her face to get rid of the redness from her crying.

Silently they left the library and walked to the Great Hall, splitting as they reached her table. She watched him walk away as she sat down; she felt lonely. Her table mates around her were talking and laughing to each other, though no one turned to _her_ and told _her_ a joke.

She sighed. Meals were always the longest part of her day. The fact that she was taking a lot of advanced courses made it even worse; everyone in her grade hated her for being smart, and the kids above her hated her because she presumed to be smart.

Sometimes I just wish I were really pretty and really stupid, that way only the girls will be jealous of me, everyone else will love me, and I will be too stupid to care. She snorted into her pudding at the thought. Imagine, Hermione Granger, brainiac extraordinaire, the dumb blonde with sex appeal. But while she knew consciously the stupidity of it, inside she couldn't help but dream.

She glanced over to the Slytherin table looking for Blaise. He was sitting almost by himself, though there was a group of other fifth-years next to him, but he wasn't talking to them. She knew that he had other friends, but ever since they became friends, he didn't have much to do with them. Or more likely they had little to do with him.

She took a sip of her pumpkin juice and turned to gather her books, ready to leave. She glanced again at Blaise and blushed. A tall blonde was standing by him, talking to him. She recognized him, she even had a few classes with him, but she didn't really know anything about him. He was tall and blonde, anyone could see that. And he was in Slytherin.

The two talked for a couple minutes while she sat and watched. Blaise started laughing, and the blonde looked over at her, causing her to blush. She gathered up her books and rushed out of the hall, not looking back.

She was working in the library, again, as Blaise walked up behind her, grinning.

"Hey 'Mione, what's up?" She gave him a quick nod while not looking at him and refocused back on her studies. Blaise chuckled a little and sat down beside her.

"So, who was hat you were talking to at dinner?"

"What, you jealous?"

"No! I was just wondering. I'm pretty sure He's last name is Malfoy, but you know, I wanted to know something about him. That's all." She was staring hard at her books so Blaise couldn't see her red face.

"Yea, his name is Draco Malfoy. He's a fifth-year Slytherin, and seeker on the Quidditch team. You know the name Malfoy, right?"

"Yea, the most famous and richest pureblood family around."

"Yea, that's right. And he's the heir to it all. Bloody loaded if you ask me. He's a bit of a snob, rather stuck up if you ask me, but not so bad. He _is_ into the pureblood mania though."

"I rather think he's well off with the ladies, or that's what I've heard. Lavender and Parvati mention him a lot. How handsome he is, and how he's really good in bed, but I don't think they really know."

"What are you're opinions on the subject Hermione?" She blushed.

"I rather don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm sure you don't." He laughed.

* * *

It was the last day before Christmas, and Hermione was late. Staying up all night studying was not the best way to be sure to get to class on time; especially when you don't have an alarm clock and your room mates think it's funny to be quiet so they don't wake you. Prats.

She ran full out down the hall and barely slowed for the corner. She swung around and fled down without looking around her. The suits of armor next to her grinned and waved as she passed them.

"Ahh!" She slid face first a few feet down and hit the wall. Mrs. Norris was screeching where she had tripped over her. Her books were scattered over the floor, her papers in complete disarray. She moaned and almost started crying. Many of her books were sitting face down, something she abhorred because it killed the bindings and they therefore didn't last as long. She couldn't find a binding spell in the library, no matter how hard she looked.

Mrs. Norris skittered over and attacked her with her claws. With a suspicious sounding huff, she turned and skittered away. Hermione looked at the long scratches on her arm and moaned.

'This day just couldn't get any better. I'm late, I tripped and scattered all my books, and I'm covered in cat scratches!' Her lip trembled as her eyes filled with tears. She sniffed once and began collecting her books. She lifted her hand and stopped, staring at the long mark. Red blood was oozing out of the thin cut, and she used her cloak to cover the wound, hoping it would stop bleeding soon.

"Ah, shit, shit!" The voice was deep and male, and was coming from the corner she had just passed through. A tall thin body came barreling around the wall and flipped over her. It yelled aloud as a lump of black and green landed sprawled out beside her.

"Damn it, I'm late."

"At least I'm not Mrs. Norris. When I tripped over her she attacked me. The only bruise you might have is where you landed on the floor."

He looked up at her in surprise, as if she was merely thin air that he had tripped over. His eyebrow rose as he looked her over in speculation. His gaze passed over her disheveled appearance and where she was holding tightly to her arm.

"You, uh, late too?" She nodded.

"So what happened to your arm?"

"Mrs. Norris." He nodded. They sat there awkwardly for a moment before Hermione bent forward to check over her scratches.

"So, you're Draco Malfoy." He looked startled at her, a confused look on his face.

"Err, yeah. I'm Draco Malfoy. How did you know my name?"

"I'm good friends with Blaise Zabini. He told me who you were. And I have a few classes with you."

"What year are you in?"

"Fourth."

"O…kay." He laughed as she flushed crimson.

"I'm a fourth-year, but I take a few fifth-year classes. We're in Charms together next, or should I say right now." She stifled a slightly hysterical laugh.

"Oh, I remember now, some smart-ass Gryffindor was taking a few classes ahead of schedule. I remember Professor Snape mentioning something at the beginning of the year." He sneered a little as he looked at her pin and confirmed that she was indeed that smart-ass Gryffindor. A slightly hurt, disgusted look crossed her face.

"Indeed. Well, I should like to thank you for tripping over me, but I no longer require services from you, so I shall see you in Charms." Her facial features scrunched up as she looked down to gather her books. She really hated it when people became so condescending like that, especially over something so silly as their house. Really made her wonder if he would be such an ass about her being a muggle-born.

He sat there for a moment looking at her, confused. She was nice a moment before, right before he said… Oh no shit, of course she is being moody, she thought he'd insulted her. Well, he rather did insult her, but not in a way that should cause her to act this way. Women!

She had gathered her books and was attempting to stand as she felt a shot of pain run up her leg. She cried out and tumbled back onto the floor, her books scattering about her again. Draco looked at her with one eyebrow raised.

"I… I think it's my ankle. I must have twisted it or something when I fell originally. It rather hurts a lot." He chuckled a little at her statement, ignoring the dirty look she flashed at him for laughing at her.

"Well, I can carry you to the Hospital Wing. It's not too far." She looked at him anxiously.

"Well, I… I'd rather just go to class. I'm already late, and I don't want to miss out on anymore." Draco laughed at the silly girl sitting in front of him with a pained expression on her face. She actually _wanted _to go to class than miss it because she hurt her ankle.

"Well, we're closer to the classroom than the Hospital Wing, so why not. But I'm not going to carry you down to the HW after class." He added sternly causing her to look as though she were about to giggle. They collected her books and maneuvered her up against the wall so that she would be able to climb onto his back.

Her legs wrapped around his waist, and her arms around his neck and over his chest. He seemed to be struggling a bit to get balanced with her and her books, but once he was steady he set off for Charms at a rather rapid pace.

Hermione sat holding tightly to his body, blushing, and glad he couldn't see her face. She never got this close to guys, unless you counted Blaise, but then it was just a quick hug and then done with, they were only friends after all. His waist was trim and smooth, and his chest muscular. His arms were strong, but not with bulky muscles. No, he was once of those tall, lean muscle men that her mother used to swoon over. If she wasn't careful, she thought she might swoon herself, and how would that look, her falling off his back because he was sexy?! She blushed, sighing softly.

'She's really not that heavy,' he mused. "She's thin, really light. I guess because she's always studying and never eating.' He tried not to laugh. Blaise had mentioned that his little female friend was a reader not a studier. Now he had the truth.

She sighed a little in his ear, causing gooseflesh to pop up over his neck. He became very aware of the fact that her little breasts were sitting squished against his shoulders, and that her pussy was rubbing against his lower back. He felt one of her hands stretch over his chest, as if trying to keep her grip. He smirked. He knew she was feeling up his chest, and why wouldn't she?

They reached the Charms room and the little professor squeaked as they came in the room.

"Mrs. Granger, Mr. Malfoy, why are you late?" Professor Flitwick tumble off his stool and came over to them.

"Hermione tripped and sprained her ankle, and got scratched by Mrs. Norris. I tried to get her to go to the Hospital Wing, but she was adamant about coming to class, so her we are." He drawled, looking a bit superior as he over looked the class. Blaise was sitting in the corner looking slightly confused. Everyone else thought that it was really funny that she had to be carried in and still wanted to go to class. They all wanted out.

Well then, of course, just have a seat. Yes, you two will be partners, just have a seat over there by that window. What we're working on today is…" He went off on a long winded explanation as the students whom he was talking to ignored him and set up at their desk.

"So partner," Draco drawled. "You ready?" She blushed.

* * *

A.N.

Okay, so this would have been out sooner, but I completely blame it on school. College sucks, don't go. Okay, well, maybe you should go, but it still sucks. Stupid papers, and tests, and more papers.

I hate school, and you what's even worse, I'm going to be in school for the rest of my life. Yep, completely true. I'm not even kidding. I'm going to be a teacher, so it will be a little different, but still, school! Sigh…


	3. Chapter 3

**If Only She knew**

* * *

Christmas vacation had just started and for once Hermione was relieved that school was out. Ever since that last day of class Draco was watching her rather oddly. Blaise had admitted to her that he had even asked him about her. She wasn't sure what exactly was on his mind.

She decided this year to stay behind at school to study. Now she was almost regretting it with the oddness of her fellow schoolmate. He often popped up where she was, and hung around with Blaise a lot, which, considering Blaise was her best friend, meant he was hanging out with her a lot.

She sighed. Tomorrow was the next Hogsmeade visit, and Draco had claimed he was going with Blaise. So either she hung out with them or by herself. Two guesses on which she will choose.

XXX

They walked down the snowy streets, clutching their cloaks close for warmth. They had just left the little bookstore, and were now looking for something else to do. In front of them groups of students were scurrying about in tight knit groups, hoping to find warmth and amusement.

She was walking by Blaise, with Draco on his other side. They were whispering quietly between themselves, and she wondered what they were planning. Suddenly, Blaise looked at her and smiled.

"Hermione, I'm sorry to abandon you, but there is a pretty girl over there calling my name." She glanced around, but saw no one that he could be talking about. "You and Draco hang out, maybe go for butterbeer. I'll be back later." And with that, he was gone.

She smiled shyly in his direction and looked down at her feet.

"I'm sorry I'm not much fun," she murmured. "You can go if you wish." Her voice was soft, and she was startled when he laughed.

"Come on girl, let's go get a drink."

He dragged her into the Three Broomsticks and ushered her to a seat while he walked to the bar for drinks. They sat with two bottles of the warm fizzy drink, warming their hands and bellies. Draco pretended not to notice the demure glances that we're being flashed his way from the quiet girl before him.

"The snow is beautiful today, isn't it?" She nodded agreement, but didn't speak. He smiled to himself. "So Hermione, what is your favorite subject?" He knew she couldn't resist this topic.

She looked up from her drink, eyes sparkling. "There is so much interesting information to learn, it would really be hard to choose. But if I had to, I think I would have to say either Arithmancy or Transfiguration. They both require immense concentration and effort, but the results are astounding. Imagine being able to change a little penny into a car, or a fierce predator into a harmless butterfly, then also know exactly how it works to boot." She rambled on, seemingly oblivious of the slight smirk hidden behind the bottle.

"Of course, this is completely the opposite of Potions, which requires a different type of concentration. Imagine, your hand shaking even slightly, allowing one more drop than needed, causing the whole thing to blow. But with precise calculations and a steady hand, you can end up with amazing results. It's rather like cooking, only with a different purpose, both of which I love."

"So how many boys have you kissed?" The shocked look on her face was almost as funny as the color of red that spread across her skin.

"W... why are you asking me this?

"Curious I suppose."

"Does it matter?" She could barely hide the anxious tone, and he didn't miss it.

"I was just curious." She shivered as his fingertip lightly stroked her bottom lip, then jumped to her feet, her tone shaky.

"I… I wonder what Blaise is doing. Are you ready to head back to school?" He smiled as he stood and followed her out the door, slowly slipping his arm around her thin waist. She didn't refuse.

XXX

"This is my stop," she whispered softly, nervous for reasons she didn't really understand. His never left her waist once they left The Three Broomsticks, except to hand her up into the carriage, but even once they were seated, he resumed his prior position. His proximity to her made her skin heat, and her heart flutter. Anxiously her hands fluttered up to smooth down her restless hair in an effort to make it behave.

"I would imagine so, seeing as I'm certainly no Gryffindor. What have you planned for tomorrow?"

"I don't know, study I suppose. Maybe finish my holiday work."

"Finish?!" He pulled back, shock evident on his face. "I haven't even started yet, and I know we have a lot to do. How could you be almost done?"

"Well, I haven't had much else to do the last few days, so if I get it out of the way, I won't have to worry about it later." He shook his head, a bemused smirk on his face.

"Amazing." One hand rose to stroke her cheek, and pushed her bushy hair back. Against her own volition, she rubbed against his hand, almost like a cat. He leaned forward and kissed her lips, then disappeared down the hall. She stood there frozen, holding one hand touching her lips. They tingled, and her skin was covered in chill bumps. She shivered then turned to the portrait and gave the password, still caught up in amazement.

She dashed through the common room then up the stairs into her dorm, stripping and jumping into bed.

'Merlin, my first kiss, my first kiss!' She shivered with the memory, and danced a little dance of joy, happy he couldn't see her just then. She ran her fingers through her hair, then grimaced in disgust as they caught in the tangles.

Muttering about stupid tangled hair, she rose and walked into the bathroom. Every night before she went to bed she brushed her hair exactly a hundred strokes. Some of the other girls thought it was rather silly, but though her hair was bushy and much scarier than the other girls', it was also much healthier. She sat at one of the vanities in the bathroom as she hummed and brushed her hair. She finished with a satisfied pat, then carried on her nightly ablutions.

Just as she was slipping into bed she heard the other girls come into the dorm. She recognized Amanda Smith and Ginny Weasley's voices.

"Don't you think he's so cute," Ginny whispered giggling.

"Oh definitely. His hair is so dark, and those brilliant green eyes are striking against it. And in his Quidditch robes, oh he's do die for."

"You know who else is pretty hot, even though he's the exact opposite…"

"Draco Malfoy." Amanda giggled. Hermione's heart began beating twice as fast the minute she heard his name. No longer was she feeling drowsy, no now she was wide awake, listening to the girls gossip about the boy that just kissed her.

"They may both be hot Seekers, but Harry's like night, and Draco day."

Yea, but could you imagine you and him having kids? They would end up with pink hair Gin."

"Oh fine, I liked Harry better anyway. His black hair will cover this ridiculous red, and your hair matches his much better seeing as you're both impossibly blond."

"Oh I don't know, he seems to like those darker women, like Pansy…" She could literally hear them shudder at the mention of the pug-nosed snob.

"He's got to have better taste," Ginny muttered.

"As long as he doesn't go out with anyone like that Hermione Granger!" Both girls tittered at the though that someone like Draco Malfoy would want Hermione Granger. Not with her buckteeth, bushy plain hair, flat chest, and more books than the Hogwarts library.

Silently Hermione put a silencing shield around her bed, and cried herself to sleep. Yes, it would be amazing if someone like him wanted her.

XXX

A.N.

Okay, so I might have continued, but I felt like this was a good place, especially since it's been so long. But as I know some of you know, life goes on with or without you, and without you people stare…

I have already started the next chapter, and hopefully it won't take so horribly long this time.

Kudos to CaramelBoost, who is my first and currently only reviewer for this fic. You make me happy…


	4. Chapter 4

If Only She Knew

Chapter 4

Hermione ambled around aimlessly, bored and tired. Sleep hadn't come easy the night before, and her body was definitely feeling the results of it.

It was the last day before everyone left to go home for Christmas holiday, though she wasn't going home. She decided that studies were much more important and seeing as her parents were busy, it wouldn't do to sit at home alone all holiday with out the benefit of the Hogwarts library at her disposal.

She sighed. Holidays were odd in her family. They were the few times a year that her family got together and all pretended to be something they're not. They sat around and chatted, and talked of their wonderful lives, and money complaints, and how perfect they were, and how their kids could be just awful sometimes, but always implied they were never as bad as other people's children. That part always made her laugh. Really, wouldn't it be better to just lock children up until they were grown and you could kick them out? She barely held in a snort.

One day, holidays were going to be different for her family, even if she had to move to America or something. No more drunken cousins and overindulging uncles. No weird old ladies pinching your cheeks like you were still four, even though that was ten years ago.

No, her house will be warm and cozy, smelling of pie and ham. There will be genuine smiles, not drunken stupors, and the glitters in the kids' eyes will be happiness, not just greediness.

"One day…"

"One day what?" Her body was immediately covered in chill bumps, and her hair would have been standing on ends if it wasn't so long and bushy. She spun around to catch the perpetrator. Draco Malfoy stood inches away from her, his warm breath moist on her lips.

She felt dizzy from the shock of his nearness, and the butterflies from the night before were back in full force.

"H-hello."

"I was looking for you. The girls in your dorm said you left early this morning, and I couldn't find you. Why do you get up so early on holidays?"

"Well I… I couldn't sleep very well, and Crooks likes to eat at six, so even during summer hols I'm up early. Crooks is my cat, Crookshanks."

"Sounds gruesome. Is that that scary half-kneazle that's always running around the place?" When she nodded slightly, his hand rose slowly to her hair, stroking softly.

"I can see you as a cat person." Unconsciously her eyes drooped, and she rubbed back against his hand, barely breathing. She missed the slight smile on his face at the shivers running down her body.

A noise down the hall sounded startling the pair, and a look of guilt flashed across her face.

"Let's go get some lunch?" She nodded, and his hand slipped around hers, as the two walked down the hall to the Great Hall.

XXX

She sat at the Slytherin table that day, between Draco and Blaise. Blaise almost seemed jealous at the fact that his best friend was no longer just his, but with all the attention being lathered on her, Hermione missed it.

Instead she sat soaking in the stares and the interaction of those going on around her. She watched with an almost clinical detachment the subtle dance she was witnessing; finally being a part of. The odd actions of others that before she would just ignore, she was watching in earnest, memorizing their steps, testing their movements, trying the dance herself.

And Blaise sat back, watching his gentle, innocent best friend being taken in by the people who before scorned her. He watched as she slowly tried to fit in, and understand what before she didn't, and didn't care to. She giggled and pretended interest in the numbing conversations going on around them, when he knew she didn't understand, and didn't care for the need to babble incessantly as they do.

And he certainly wasn't happy about the kisses and little marks of affection placed upon her. Indeed, it seemed to bother him.

XXX

She sat between the two men in her life, and surrounded by a group of people who before really didn't care whether she was here or on the other side of the world. And sometimes rather wished she was over a thousand miles away, if only to allow them a better grading curve. She was feeling a bit uncomfortable, but was trying hard not to show it. Instead she watched interested in the interaction between these long time friends.

Suddenly Blaise stood from beside her, and mumbling something about the library, left the Great hall. Instantly, a bunch of girls flocked to her side, and sitting down beside her, began giggling.

"So, Hermyne-"

"It's Her-my-oh-ne."

"Yea, sure Hermyne."

"What's going on here?" A short plump girl with a pug nose pointed between her and Draco with a sneer. Her voice was shrill, and didn't fit her looks at all.

"Like yea, are you dating?" The speaker was a slim blonde, with wide lips and slanted eyes. Behind her a tall dark girl, with large arms and a large body, was standing glaring menacingly at Hermione.

Hermione chanced a glance back at Draco, who was now paying attention, and her jaw almost dropped when he nodded slowly.

"Yea, we are." She was smiling, and felt a little dizzy. _I have a boyfriend, a real _boyfriend She couldn't help giggle along when the blonde threw her arms around her in a girlish hug.

"Oh my gosh, you have to tell us all about it." She was smiling as she told the story, mostly fabricated, to the wide eyed girls around her. She missed the glare coming from the pudgy pug standing slightly away from the group. Draco simply ignored it.

XXX

Christmas was two days away, and Draco and Hermione had stayed at school for the holiday. The days leading up to Christmas had seen the two spending every waking minute together. Hermione finally had become un-embarrassed enough to be able to kiss Draco in public and not blush. Instead she kissed him.

Indeed, they were locked away in the room of requirements, which no one knew about, and all the students used. It was much better for snogging than a broom closet. Hermione was sitting straddling his lap, snogging him senseless. His hands were roaming across her belly and back, while her arms were wrapped around his neck.

She shivered as his warm hands touched the skin around her belly button. Her breath caught, and she felt him smirk against her lips. That was still something she wasn't quite used to. Out of the blue, his hand slowly raised, and she felt his fingertips come into contact with the soft flesh of her breast.

She trembled, and opened her mouth as if to protest. He turned to look up at her, his grey eyes stormy. The smooth calluses on his fingers rubbed against her soft skin, and staring straight into his eyes, she slowly leaned into his grasp.

He spread his fingers around the supple mound, gently squeezing. A moan escaped which she couldn't hold in. The lust pouring out of his pores overwhelmed her, causing her to overheat and yearn for what she only read of in books. Keeping eye contact, his head dropped, then disappeared beneath her shirt. Her breath caught in anticipation.

He tenderly stroked her, brushing over the fine hairs on her skin. His breath was warm and moist, and blowing against her. She jerked back in astonishment when his tongue flicked against her bud. His wickedly suggestive grin erased the protest poised on her lips, and she sank into his grasp.

He engulfed her, warm and inviting, soft and caressing. Her skin tingled and she shivered. He caused such thoughts, she almost felt ashamed of how she reacted. But his hot mouth soon erased all ability to think.

His hands roamed against her, pressing through the thin material of her skirt. She jerked up, all calm, cool rationality back.

"I… I don't." His lips cut her off.

"Don't worry, I'll wait. You're all mine." The last part came out in such a deep growl, she involuntarily shivered. His hands roamed her body possessively, and she couldn't help but nod her agreement.

She again pulled back, trying to shake some sense into herself, then looked at him.

"I don't know what to get you for Christmas. I haven't gotten you anything, because well, I don't know…" She blushed, not used to admitting such blasphemy. He chuckled, causing her to grow a deeper red.

"Is this going to be the first and last time I hear that?" She punched him in the arm, hiding her face down behind her hair. "It's okay; I don't know what to get you either, maybe I won't." She looked up shocked and hurt, then slapped him harder on his chest when she saw the teasing grin on his face.

"Ha, just kidding. Well, I didn't really know what to get you, so I just guessed. I thought maybe I would give it to you tonight, because we probably won't see a lot of each other actually on Christmas."

"Yeah." She hid the slight scowl from him, or at least hoped she did. She watched curious as he retrieved his bag from beside them and rummaged through it. The source-less light reflected off his blonde hair as it fell forward into his eyes, something she very much understood.

"Here." He pulled a long narrow box, obviously jewelry then, from his bag, and handed it over to her with a shrug. It was a golden box with a long thin red bow.

"I thought the colors worked." His smirk was obvious, and she couldn't help but smile as she slid off the bow and opened the box. Nestled in a sponge, there lay a delicate silver chain, and on the end an ebony stone with a white center. How exactly that worked who knew, but this was a magical world after all.

"It's a snake eye black diamond." And indeed, around the white, there wound a threadlike green iris. She was shocked speechless, her mind on the money it cost… Not like he couldn't afford it though.

"Th…thank you."

"So, what's my present?" His thumb moved up to stroke her lip, and she shivered even as a blush crept across her face.

So he wanted a present, huh? She leapt forward, kissing him hard on his mouth, and moaned when his lips opened against hers. 'I may be new at this, but he's about to get a rollercoaster ride!'

XXX

It was the day after Christmas, and Hermione was sitting on her bed biting her lip in horror of the possible coming pain. She was thrown back sideways, and had her feet dangling over the side. Her shirt was raised and folded across her chest, exposing her stomach.

She held her hands around her bellybutton, mostly hiding the slight scar of where she had attempted piercing it herself only that past summer the muggle way, with a safety pin.

Of course, that didn't work out too well…

No all she ended up with was a scar and a lot of pus to deal with no matter how well she had sterilized it with flame and alcohol. Now she had a lot of scar tissue to contend with in order to actually pierce it.

There was a book lying open, showing a page title of "Easy Piercing for the Modern Witches." It contained numerous easy spells to help piercing oneself without resorting to the muggle way, which was good in her mind seeing how badly it _hurt_ last time.

Propping up on her elbows, she looked at the little ring she had bought for herself for Christmas, to go with the piercing, of course. The closing ball on the ring was an imitation ruby, to match her favorite color and her house color, go figure.

Taking a deep breath, and damning herself, she raised her wand, and held the ring out in her left palm.

"Percutio, Claustrum Invado!" Her breath caught, and she stared at her belly, where it felt as though someone stuck her with a sharp needle, then watched the ring float up and enter into her bellybutton without a problem. The jewel slid into place.

"Yes, yes YES!" She jumped off her bed and started dancing in circles, happy to be done with it. And it didn't even really hurt, definitely not like before. She grinned, and hugged herself.

Once she had floated down off the high induced by her present to herself, she began wondering just what everyone else was up to. She hadn't really seen Blaise, seeing as he had gone home, and though Draco was there, she hadn't really seen him either.

'Well, I'll just have to remedy that!" She straightened her knee length skirt and white t-shirt, then pulled her robe loosely over her shoulders. Seeing as it was only just after dinner, she knew that while there would be people lazing around all over the grounds, some would be in their common room, and hopefully that was where Draco was.

She walked through the corridors, and seeing as her best friend was a Slytherin she knew where the dungeon was. She set her jaw and walked through the halls with determination, and soundly hoping no one would stop to question her.

As she reached the endless stretch of stone wall that marked the entrance of the dungeon, she noticed the Bloody Baron floating aimlessly, though tirelessly, only a few feet away.

"Here to see Mr. Zabini are we." His ghostly dark eyes bored into her, but not without a faint smile hidden behind the cold.

"Ah, no sir. Actually, I would like to see Draco." The Baron rose to his full height, holding his chest out and proud.

"Indeed." And with that, he floated away through the wall. Hermione scrunched up her nose in annoyance, then decided she would make someone pay attention.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

No one answered as she used her wand as a door knocker. She knocked twice more, then called out to Draco. Suddenly, as she was raising her hand to knock again, the wall swung away from her and she nearly fell over. The dark figure in the entrance sniggered loudly.

"Indeed." She could feel his gaze scouring over her body, and she shivered.

"Come on then." He ushered her inside, and she followed him haltingly into the dimly lit cavern. Numerous Slytherin students were lounging on dark green sofas situated around the room.

"Hey 'Grass, here for Draco." His head nodded in her direction, and she watched a tall thin girl with brown hair stand and take off up the stairs. Just as Hermione was looking around for a better view of the room, she heard a loud 'oomph' from the stairwell.

As she looked back, Draco and the girl were walking back down, and he was smiling that disarmingly charming smile.

"The Baron had just told me you were here. What are you doing tonight?"

"Just bored, thought I'd come visit." She said softly, so they were the only ones to hear. He took her hand and pulled her up the stairs with him.

"Well, me a few people are hanging out upstairs, why don't you visit." She nodded faintly and blushed pink. His hand was coarse against hers, and made her quiver. He pulled her into one of the doorways littering the hallway, and she stopped in awe.

Inside the room there were five large four posters, and at one end, even a couch, a chair, and a small fridge. Though the room was draped with rich green hangings, she still felt the stone coming through, and the chill crept into her bones.

"Come on then Malfoy, who's the chit?" The tallest guy in the room was probably about 6'2, and had dark brown hair, and thick eyebrows. His build was thick, and she could see scars on his arms where they weren't covered by his shirt.

"Boyd, this is Hermione." The others in the room watched as she reached her hand forward to shake his. It was so large, it completely engulfed hers, and made her feel as though he could wrap one hand around her neck and strangle her easily.

She dropped his hands and dropped back to Draco's side, picking her lip in a common nervous habit. She felt his arm wrap around her waist then, and pull her slightly away as the others went back to talking, their voices deep baritones.

"I have something to show you." Her voice was soft, but didn't contain her excitement. They were standing against a bed, leaning slightly to the left, with her facing the group. Slowly her hand pulled up her shirt, and she smiled eagerly as her slightly red belly button came into view.

Draco looked a little shocked as his eyes flickered up at her face, then back down. The red jewel glimmered slightly in the faint candle light. From behind, they heard someone call out.

"Ooh, getting a sneak peak, Draco?" On of the girls with semi-long black hair drawled. Hermione blushed as the group snickered their way, and Boyd came over to them.

"Pretty interesting looking ring you got their, Gryffindor. Did it hurt?" His thick finger proceeded to poke her none to gently in the belly button, with the excuse of looking at the ring. She glanced at Draco nervously, but he was turning towards the group of people, and making his way over laughing.

"Yea, actually. It did rather hurt." Boyd stood before her, looking down at her with a comprising look.

"If you want pain, then you better get used to taking it." In a flash, his hand flew forward and smacked her stomach. A pain flicked across her abdomen from where he hit her bellybutton.

"Well, Malfoy, your girl is awfully sensitive to pain. I barely touch her, and here she is hold her stomach." His condescending tone made her want to gag.

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't be so bad, it you hadn't barely touched me so hard." She ground out. Draco laughed coming up behind them. His arm flew up as he slapped Boyd on the back.

"Eh, he just doesn't know his own strength. Come on over and meet my friends." Her lips tightened into a line as she followed the two back over to meet the others. She nodded her way through the introductions, and stared silently at the threaded rug barely covering the stone floor. As they chatted around her, with their sneering laugh and cold emotions, she felt strangely distant.

Her head was feeling airy, and her heart was beating erratically. Just as she began to feel as though she was about to float away into a silently cloud, the high pitched laugh from the girl Mallory brought her back to the present. And the present included a large ring of smoke being blown into her face, in an almost off handed way. It was an acrid fume, and she felt like choking. Mutely she heard Boyd laughing at her.

Feeling as though she'd had enough, she stood and walked swiftly out of the room. Behind her Draco sighed as he stood to follow, and started laughing at what someone said. As she walked out the door into the hall, she sensed him catching up. He followed her out, and closed the door behind him.

"So what's up then Hermione, you not having fun?" He seemed at ease in a very disturbing way to her.

"Not really actually. Your friend Boyd hit my stomach really hard, and it felt as though everyone was blowing smoke in my face."

"Oh chill out. It was a little bit of fluxweed, and no one was blowing it _at_ you. And Boyd was just playing around." His smirk enraged her.

"I don't care if he was playing! He hit me and it hurt. And I don't like people smoking around me, whether or not it's legal." She ground her teeth together, and picked at the end of her sleeve.

"You know what, I'm tired, so I'm just going to head back to my common room okay." She tucked a curl behind her ear, and watched Draco look at her with some annoyance.

"Fine." He bent over then, and captured her mouth beneath his. It became a battle for dominance then, and Hermione could feel herself losing to him as she melted against his body. Suddenly he pulled back with a smirk, and ushered her on, then turned and re-entered the room, closing the door behind him.

Hermione stood there, looking more confused than ever, as she turned and walked dejectedly back to her room. It certainly seemed as though she was in the right earlier, how was it that now, she was in the wrong?

XXX

A.N.

:: little me speaks up :: I'm soooo sorry it has taken so long, but I say that all the time, right? So, that was Christmas. Wouldn't it suck to get hit in the stomach?

Anyways, so I'm moving soon, and I promise to try and get the next chapter up much faster this time!!!

Luv, Bru


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